Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Screw being skinny.....

I DISLIKE being the "skinny" girl.  Did you ever think you would hear someone say that?  Probably not, but now you have.  There are multiple reasons as to why I feel this way.  I've always been the skinny framed girl, even called Katie Anorexic by people I considered my friends when I was in middle and high school.  It was their way of getting my attention in the lunch room, on the bus, or in the hallways.  Sadly enough it didn't always bother me because I thought they could be calling me worse things.  That was until I realized that being called "Katie Anorexic" really wasn't a compliment.  As an adult now, I would always get upset whenever people would tell me how skinny I was, how lucky I was or that I was crazy if I thought I needed to lose weight.  I actually can't take it...because the truth was I wasn't happy and had my own insecurities.  Has this happened to you?

Now of course, I consider myself lucky in some aspects of my frame, but I haven't always been happy with how I have looked.  First, I follow my paternal grandmother genes and have what I call a buddha belly.  I have always had fairly slim limbs, but all my weight (whenever I gained) always went to my gut.  Not my chest or my glutes (where I could use it...LOL), but the buddha belly.  The reason I would always get upset whenever someone commented on my weight was because it was how I felt about MYSELF.  I get that many people would be happy at my weight, etc...., but these were my feelings.  I knew when I wasn't eating right or working out enough, because I felt it.  I felt it through my clothes and the skin I was living in.  I always joke back and tell people that I can hide the weight there well.  So although, I "looked" skinny,  I always felt self-conscious because I didn't like the skin I was in.  I knew I COULD be in better shape.  I knew I SHOULD be eating better, (boy, could I eat) and should try to rid myself of my sweet tooth.  Was I overweight, no.  But to me the true question to ask myself was if I was happy, and I would always answer no.  I'm sure many of you can relate, no matter what your weight or what your clothing size.

We often say that life seems to get in the way.  About 5 years ago, my life felt like it was in pure turmoil and I didn't put myself first.  I drained all of my energy into something in my life that I COULD CONTROL, the things I was good at; teaching.  At the time, everything that was being turned upside down was out of my control.   It was then that I realized that I dedicated my entire life to my job. I didn't watch what I was eating or even exercise.  So of course I was unhappy,   That was until, I realized that I need to be putting myself first and taking care of myself.  You must make time.

Fast forward a few years, finally I told myself that there were no more excuses.  I got in control of my life and tried to find balance.  I was going to the gym regularly, not a few days here and there, but on a consistent basis.  Let me tell you, it gave me a high like no other.  Screw being skinny, I wanted to be STRONG!!  Little by little, I was able to run longer and faster.  I was able to lift heavier weights.  So heavy in fact, that I was squatting weight larger than some 40 year old men in my class, or even the same if not more weight than the instructor.  The more weight I packed on, the more I sweat, and the longer the fat burn.  I was losing and firming at the same time.

I changed what I was putting in my body too.  I started doing the nutritional plan of Tone it Up and became a part of a community of women that motivated one another or held one another accountable.  I took before pictures and posted them on Instagram (no, I will not be sharing...LOL) because these women knew nothing about me so I wasn't in fear of being judge, because if I didn't want to see them again, I didn't have to).  They wouldn't lie to my face because they were afraid of hurting me.  I posted my daily meals or me sweating from a crazy workout.  But I will say one thing....not one of them told me how skinny I was or how I shouldn't be there as part of the community.  They just told me to keep going.  That was the first time, I felt that others got it.  It had nothing to do with my size, but truly how I felt about myself.    I will never forget posting a side by side of my before and after.  I was shocked at my changes but also proud of my accomplishments.  It's true what they say....being fit is a lifestyle!!! You must make it part of your life if you want to see and maintain the results.  I am not where I want to be, but now I am happier with my body and proud of what I have accomplished.  Anything is possible if you set your mind to it.  You must believe to achieve.

I am still on my journey.  Want to join me?

Strong is the new skinny!

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